Follow Up and Up

Can-man had his follow up appointment today from his endoscopy. His biopsy came back negative for Celiac Disease, which was a relief. I feel for anyone that either has Celiac Disease or have children that do. Although it has gotten easier lately to manage a gluten free diet, it still can be spendy and it's no fun having to be on a restricted diet while the rest of the world eats whatever the hell they want - blissfully unaware.

I do feel Can-man still has problems with gluten, and is probably gluten intolerant. His GI doctor doesn't seem COMPLETELY onboard with this notion, but he did say if I feel that it helps than to keep up with eliminating gluten from C's diet. I think his GI doctor more feels that if you don't have Celiac Disease, and since there is no testing for gluten intolerance, we can't definitively say that he is gluten intolerant. 

There's been too many times that C has either accidentally had gluten or I've "tested" him by letting him have some, since May when this all started, and he'd have problems either that night or the next day. Usually sleeps terribly, waking up in the middle of the night crying, or waking for the day at 5am. All of that on top of constipation and a lot of gas. It's not a coincidence when it's happened numerous times.

After he went back off of gluten once his endoscopy was completed, within days he was eating better and sleeping better, the month he had to be on it was pretty hell-ish. I don't know if gluten is the source of all of his problems, but I do think it is a contributing factor. But enough about that.

One thing the endoscopy did seem to indicate is either acid reflux or eosinophilic esophagitis. Yeah, I don't know either. I'll be getting my Google on as far as the latter is concerned but as for the reflux, C will begin taking an acid blocker to hopefully remedy his inflamed lower esophagus which is what most concerns his GI doctor.

After a period of a couple of months, his GI doctor wants to perform another endoscopy to see if the acid blocker has done its job and C's esophogus has healed, and if it hasn't, our next course of action would be to begin treatment for EE - I'm not up for typing it out again.

That was a little discouraging. I'm hoping all he has is the reflux, the meds help him and C grows up and grows out of it (as I hear happens a lot of times with reflux in kids his age).

I want to leave you with the thought that you are your kid's best health case manager. I appreciate good doctors, and all of the care good medicine can provide, but getting to the bottom of what could be ailing our kids a lot of times falls to us. I don't mean we should be out here diagnosing our children (dangerous) but putting pieces together from doctor A, doctor B and telling doctor C so he/she can possibly better understand what could be going on.

Can-man's GI doctor told me I was smart for noticing Can-man started having a lot of growth problems once he was started on almond milk. C had a cow's milk reaction in December, bloody stool, hives for about a week, a really horrible experience. We tried soy milk, but after a few days, the same symptoms came back so we tried a few other milk alternatives when we finally settled on almond. Well, Can-man settled on it since it's the only one he would drink.

Can-man didn't gain one pound until July, when he started PediaSure after a failure to thrive diagnosis. I have long suspected the almond milk wasn't giving C the nutrients and calories his body needs, and his GI doctor agreed.

I'm not going to beat myself up over it, I'm not saying almond milk is bad, I'm not saying anyone shouldn't give it to their kids, especially when you're dealing with diet restrictions and there's only so many choices. What I am saying is you do your best with the information you have at the time, and you have to learn to adapt and change your course when you see something isn't working. We're all trying to do our best, that's all we can really do. 

Thank you to those that offered their support during this time, it's been a little rough, I look forward to R returning from his deployment so he can share more of this with me. Maybe then I will relax a little. For now, the journey continues.

Pediatric Endoscopy aka EEEK Why Am I Doing This to My Kid??!

Can-man's endoscopy was done yesterday. I wanted to write about it because so much I was able to find on the internet, research wise, was mostly moms that were against the procedure being performed on their own kids. I wanted to give an honest account of what happened and what a family could expect from having something similar done.

Despite cutting gluten from Can-man's diet, it didn't have the results we expected. It seemed to help tremendously at first, but a month in he started having bad diarrhea episodes again, alternating with gas so bad that it'd wake him up at night in tears. He had BEEN off any foods we thought he was having a hard time with so we were baffled for this still to be happening and I hated seeing him uncomfortable or crying in pain. This is why we chose with his doctor, after many inconclusive blood, urine and stool tests, to do the procedure.

I'm not knocking anyone for not wanting to have it done, just like I don't knock anyone who wants to cloth diaper, baby wear, co-sleep, breastfeed or if they decide against doing those things. The parenting arena is so damned competitive lately. I'm glad to have had kids 16 years apart, so I know it wasn't always like this and I'm hopeful it won't always be. Your kids=your way. My kids=my way. 

We checked into the hospital at 10:30am. Can-man wasn't to have any food past 6am, only water or apple juice past that, and nothing after 10am. He did MUCH better with this than I had expected. He did seem confused as to why he was getting juice in the morning as opposed to his usual milk, but he rolled with it.

We were called back to an area where they had a bed set up for him, with a teddy bear sitting on it which was his to keep. A cute little touch. I wish Can-man took more comfort in things like that but it's really not his thing yet.

We changed him into his hospital gown and pants which he didn't really notice or care about in the least. We were then taken to a play room chock full of toys that he had all to himself, and the nurse brought the computer so he could be at ease while we finished up the rest of the checking in process. She also went over what would be happening over the course of pre-op and recovery.

The only downside to this was Can-man found a plastic piece of bread in one of the toy sets, and wanted to eat it. He chomped on it a few times, then brought it to me and waved it in my face like, "Why doesn't this taste good?" I felt a little bad for him since he hadn't eaten anything since the night before.

After this was finished, Can-man was taken back to his bed and was given a small oral dose of medication that would make him more relaxed (sorry, I can't remember the name). It started working almost immediately, and Can-man really needed it. Can-man hates being touched but especially by doctors, to the point it's difficult for a doctor or nurse to use a stethoscope on him as he screams and thrashes around.

The anesthesiologist came over and explained what he'd be giving to Can-man (gas) and that he wouldn't leave his side during the procedure, which is about 20-30 minutes in length. The anesthesiologist calmed me down a TON, having Can-man under sedation was the scariest part of the procedure for me. 

The nurses did some more prep work on Can-man, taking his pulse and things, basically monitoring him as the relaxation medication did its thing. His pediatric gastroenterologist came over (whom I love) and explained some more about what he'd be looking for, the biopsies he'd be taking and when we could expect to hear back on test results. I'm not even going to get into what's involved in the actual procedure, I'm not a doctor and this isn't a medical blog. ;)

It was time for Can-man to be taken back to the operating room and I thought I'd get really upset, because I thought HE'D be really upset, but the anesthesiologist scooped him up in his arms and carried him back. Can-man didn't even notice he was being separated from me, he was too busy trying to snatch the doctor's scrub hat off his head. Haha That's my boy!

I was taken back out to the waiting room where I passed the time with a latte and distracting myself with a movie on the Kindle. Before I knew it, the GI doctor came out to talk to me about his initial findings, and brought pictures:

Esophagus, stomach, and intestines

I told the doctor I was going to add these to his baby book and he laughed. Can-man was irritated and raw around his esophagus which could be reflux and he also saw shadows on his intestines that could indicate celiac disease (which was the initial concern). Nothing could be confirmed or ruled out yet. BLAST. 

I didn't want the doctor to necessarily find anything but at the same time, I didn't want to put Can-man through this procedure without something actually there as the source of his digestive issues. If it's reflux, fine. If it's celiac, fine. Both are manageable, but we need to KNOW so we can best help our son.

After about another 30 minutes, I was taken back to see Can-man where he was awakening from the anesthesia. The recovery room was a little rough. Can-man was completely out of sorts, groggy, mad the IV was still in his foot (they were leaving the line in place in case he would need anything quickly). The nurse put on a movie and he quieted a little with some juice, but he really didn't act more himself til we got the IV out, his clothes on and were preparing to leave. 

I had brought his stroller in with us, which I highly recommend doing, otherwise they were going to have me sit in a wheelchair and hold him and be wheeled out together. No thanks.

We got home and I let him have a little more juice and some crackers, just to see how his stomach would do. He did cough a little and his voice seemed a little hoarse. He tried to do his happy screech a few times and it didn't have the same volume it usually does, but otherwise did not seem to be in any pain. He was fine with relaxing, eating some snacks and watching some movies. The next day he was back to his normal self as if nothing happened. So we shall see what next week and the test results will bring. 

Product Girl

I don't know what happened, but somewhere along the way I became a little beauty product obsessed. I think because I finally found some things I liked using and lived up to their claims. Too many times I've been led astray by a magazine recommending something to the point I began thinking nothing worked as it claimed, so why bother? I've tried a few things that turned out to be "ehhh" to others that were downright irritating since they failed so miserably. I've started viewing magazines "Best of" lists as one big advertisement; it's the only thing that could explain why they'd be touting something that clearly doesn't deliver.

I'm going to post my own "best of" list and encourage you to try them. If they fail miserably, you can be downright disappointed with me (and try and get your money back) (Err, not from me).

Hair

Spornette Little Wonder I listened to my friend Nicole for years tell me to get one of these brushes but I never heeded her pleas. I don't know why! Probably because her hair always looks fresh-out-of-the-salon fabulous and I just didn't see how I could come close to having my hair look that way. Well. Enter our little friend Spornette here. Not saying my hair looks as spectacular as Nicole's but I do love that it gives my hair such good volume and height where I need it most: the crown. Definitely not Snookie-esque but enough that I don't have hair flat on my head, either. Highly recommend this, what do you have to lose? It's less than 5 bucks.

Big Sexy Hair Voluminizing Dry Shampoo Here we go with that "volume" thing again. Obviously if this isn't an issue for you then skip ahead but for my fine and/or flat haired peeps - hear me out. This stuff is amazing. I've never tried any other dry shampoos before so I can't offer a comparison but I will buy this one, again and again. It does wonders for my hair and achieves an overall groomed appearance with amazing volume in between washings (I have to admit I don't often wash my hair, probably 3 times a week at most). It also somehow lessens the appearance of product residue which you know I love, since I wash my hair infrequently. Another great thing is the effects last a couple of days so I don't even need to use it every day between washings. SCORE.

CHI Silk Infusion After all the punishment I put my hair through (I try really, really hard not to keep it up in ponytail all of my waking hours), this is just the stuff to come along and tame it. Awesome on flyaways and gives a healthy appearing shine boost. Plus, it smells SO GOOD. I can't wait til R gets back so I can plop some of this in my hair and snuggle up next to him. "Gee, your hair smells terrific." "Thank you, honey." *hair flip*

Nails

CND Stickey Base Coat Don't pass go, don't even think about using any other base coat. You know I read an article the other day stating base coats aren't necessary? How are those chipped nails working out for the author of that opinion piece? I absolutely do think a base coat is necessary. Not only for the smoother appearance of whatever color you put on top of it, but this stuff right here actually keeps your nails unchipped longer - I swear it's true. All the times you do your nails and the very next day, you already need to touch them up? Not with CND Stickey. I actually go on average at least 2 more days without having to touch up my nails, although I will reapply my top coat a day or two later to safeguard. 

I will say one thing I do miss about having acrylic nails is how much longer a manicure would last with them. And don't even mention Shellac to me - not a fan!

Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat I have a love/hate relationship with Seche Vite. Love because I do think it gives the fastest dry time (imperative with a toddler in the house) with unbeatable shine. Hate because I had 3 bottles crap out about midway through. Kind of irritating to think $5 of product was rendered unusable halfway in. I gave up on using it for a while since I became so irritated (and started using Essie's No Chips Ahead - not a bad offering) but then my friend alerted me to this on Amazon. Seche Vite and I made up, made out and we're once again a happy couple.

Face

Jouer Tinted Moisturizer. I got hip to this via Birchbox. I somehow was sent a sample twice but I was all too happy to get it again since I loved it that much. I do recommend making SURE to color match as it is one of the more tinted of the tinted moisturizers I've used, and I wouldn't want you to run around looking like an oompa loompa on my rec. I have to say, I'm a huge fan of tinted moisturizers, and I've tried many. I don't always want the full coverage of something heavier seeing how most days I spend in the gym, Target or the grocery store - who needs to get all dolled up for that? I also love that this contains SPF. So many moisturizers that I've tried do NOT and I find that a little bizarre. I don't want to have to use another product to protect my face.

Philosophy Miracle Worker Retinoid Pads 

And!

Philosphy Miracle Worker Anti-Aging Moisturizer

Here's where I'm going to kick the 35 and under crowd off the bus because this isn't relevant to you. I don't want you going off, dropping a dime and then come crying to me that it doesn't work as it should. Of course it doesn't, it's for us old hags. I mean, ladies of distinction. I say 35 and under due to the fact that I, personally, only started to notice the ravages of aging past that point but if you do feel you can benefit from this earlier, by all means, try it. 

My face was in some sorry shape before I began using both of these. Terribly dry in spots and breakouts every few days like you wouldn't believe. My face didn't know whether it was coming or going, but this has definitely righted the ship (what's wrong with a little Navy reference every now and again?) I use it every night before bed, and I haven't missed nary a day - even when I've been drinking! Go me! My face looks amazingly supple and moist (to those that love that word) and it's noticeably made my pores seem not so cavernous.

That's all I have for now, although I did receive a nice big box from Ulta via my man in brown just this morning so we'll be back with another installment in the not so distant future. Happy Monday, all!

Mate of My Soul

I don't really believe in soul mates. I don't know if this is a defense mechanism I've set up in case a person I deem as my "soul mate" ups and leaves me. That way I won't feel so bereft at the thought of never finding TRUE LOVE again.

This isn't to say I don't believe in soul mates for other people. I think we've all met a few couples along the way where it was clear fate intervened to bring them together and they seemed destined to live happily ever after.

But for me, I think Oprah said once that there isn't ONE person that you can make a life with, but a few people if the timing is right. I'm totally paraphrasing, and, I'm not a big Oprah fan. I know, I know if you are - great. I'm not but that statement did resonate with me.

All of this to say - R is really the closest thing to a soul mate that I have ever known. I don't know if it's because he has sisters or if he grew up around strong women but he's always been able to speak to me in a way that keeps me level, keeps me calm. He makes me laugh when it's the last thing I want to do, and makes me feel good about myself when I need to be lifted up. I'll save the long list of love but that sums it up quite nicely. I can be crazy, R calms the crazy.

The other day I started chatting with a neighbor at the apartment office and she mentioned she was moving across the complex into my building. I asked why she was moving from the apartment she was currently in and she sadly replied her husband had passed away last month from cancer. She said she couldn't take the memories in her current apartment any longer.

It was one of those moments that perspective dawns on you and you realize, you don't really have it that bad. Not at all. Someone can and does have it much worse.

Last night, I was in bed trying to drift off, Can-man and I had really busy day planned for today and I was feeling really anxious. My thoughts drifted to my neighbor and I got the sickest feeling in my stomach, thinking the unthinkable and if anything were to ever happen to R. It's not a place I let my thoughts go to very often or I'll drive myself nuts with worry. I still worry, I just try to contain it to a manageable level.

I tried calling R and he didn't answer (he rarely does, much to my frustration. Time difference, bad connections, etc). I set down the phone on my bedside table and tears came to my eyes. More bad thoughts started rushing in, to the point I almost convinced myself something bad had happened to R. Is this what people mean when they say they can FEEL at that moment something horrible happened???

At that precise thought, mere seconds after setting the phone down, R's distinctive email chime sounded and sweet relief came over me. Those times of relief, they can't be described in words.

He may not be my soul mate, but he's pretty damn close.